Surviving the Mega-Super-Duper-Galactic-Colossal Princess Tantrum

We had a real special evening here on Monday. I was in the kitchen heating up dinner. Cassie had dragged her father and Sam upstairs. I called up to say dinner was ready and a moment later I heard all this screaming coming from Cassie’s bedroom. Michael came downstairs with Sam a few minutes after that and sat at the table.

Me: Where’s Cassie?

Michael: She’s having a ‘princess’ moment.

Me: Huh?

Sam: Oooooooooooo... phbtz!

Michael: She wanted to wear her ‘Belle’ costume. I said yes, but she should put it on over her clothes because I knew dinner was going to be ready soon. She got undressed anyway and put on the dress and then started pulling out all the accessories. I told her that we didn’t have time for that. She could have them after dinner. She started to fuss. I said that when you called for dinner, I was headed downstairs with Sam. Thirty seconds later, you said dinner was ready, and now Cassie is upstairs screaming because I didn’t put her jewelry on her.

Cassie (upstairs in her bedroom): Aaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaagh! Daaaaaaaaddy! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy! Eeeeeeeaaaaaaauugh!

Me: Holy cow...

Sam: Ooooooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo... phbztt!

So Michael and I sat down to eat dinner. A few minutes later, Cassie came downstairs, carrying an armload of Disney Princess accessories - jewelry, tiara, scepter, shoes, etc.

Cassie: *Sniffle, sniffle* Mommy? Will you put my accessories on me?

Me: After dinner. Right now you need to sit down and eat.

Cassie: No!

Me: By the way, young lady. That dress is too loose on you and the neck hangs too low. You need to wear a shirt under it.

Cassie: No I don’t! Belle doesn’t wear a shirt under her dress!

Me: Belle isn’t my daughter, you are. Go put a shirt on and come eat.

Cassie: Noooooo! Nooooo! Nononononononononono!!

Sam: Oooooooo! Ooooooo! Ooo! Ooo! Phbttz! Blah!

Me: Either put a shirt on or I will take away the dress.

Cassie ran upstairs, still screaming. Michael, Sam and I continued with dinner to an accompaniment of screaming. After I had fed Sam and eaten my own dinner, I trudged upstairs. I found Cassie sitting in the middle of her room wearing a t-shirt. The dress was lying on the floor.

Me: Cassie, put the dress on and come eat.

Cassie: *Sniffle, sniffle* I w-w-w-want my ac-ac-ac-ac-cessories.

She got up and went over to her pink treasure chest to pull out yet another armful of princess junk. I shook my head.

Me: You may have the accessories AFTER dinner, young lady. Right now, you need to put on your dress and come downstairs to eat.

Cassie: I W-W-W-WANT M-M-MY ACCESSORIES!

Me: No, and if you argue with me any more, I’m going to take away all your costumes for a week.

Cassie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cassie threw herself on the floor and had a category 5 tantrum. I walked over, picked up the Belle dress, and then gathered up all her other costumes. It took me a total of three trips to get all her princess stuff out of the room. I shoved it in my closet and shut the door. Cassie continued to scream and foam at the mouth while I headed back downstairs.

Michael: So, how did it go?

Me: Cassie has lost all her costumes and accessories for a week. Starting next Monday, she will be allowed to earn them back one at a time. When she stops screaming, she can come down and eat dinner.

Cassie: NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sam: Ooooooooooooo...

And that was the Mega-Super-Titanic-Intergalactic Princess Meltdown. Hope you enjoyed the story. I wish I could find my clothes underneath all that princess crap.

Why I Haven’t Posted Lately

Here are my top five excuses...

1) I’m hip-deep in a new short story, and it’s giving me almost as much trouble as the last one. You’d think I’d learn. By the way, the last story was rejected, albeit very nicely, by the editor of the anthology I was submitting too. He said the story was wonderful, but because of the downer ending and an extremely unlikable narrator, he didn’t think he’d be able to convince the publisher to go with it. However, he said I had talent and I should continue to write. You tell me, do I laugh, or do I cry?

2) I’m tired. I go to bed at 10:30 PM. Sam wakes me up at 2 AM and then again at 4 AM wanting to nurse. I’ve been trying to ignore the 2 AM howling, but she still wakes me up, thus totally screwing any chance I have of sleeping more than four hours straight. I’m so tired that I can’t get out of bed at 5 AM, which is when I really should be getting up if I’m going to get a good start on my day. Oh well.

3) I’m lazy. Let’s face it, I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Today for example: I woke up late, didn’t care; I fell asleep after putting Sam down for her morning nap; I spent the afternoon shopping for blank books and gel pens, neither of which I really need. I just don’t feel like doing anything I’m supposed to do right now. I’m just in one of those moods. It’s probably tied to my writer’s block. Hopefully both will pass soon.

4) I’m busy. Because I oversleep, I’m always running late. Oh, and I’ve added something to my already full schedule. Cassie started karate lessons this week. Now I’ve got to stop work twenty minutes early to pick her up and get her to the dojo on time. So we’re a bit hectic right now.

5) Sam won’t cooperate. As I type this, she is latched onto me and slapping me in the face with her tiny little hand. She’s also kicking the crap out of my arm. I think someone is going down for her afternoon nap real soon, no?

Uh-oh. I just put Sam down in her crib and she is howling. She looked absolutely furious at my betrayal. Apparently smacking me in the nose while I’m trying to work is her right and her duty, and I am an evil tyrant for depriving her of it. Oh well. I have a steamy sex scene to write. She’ll just have to fuss it out.