Writing Wednesday - Pimping one's self

Over the summer, I spent some time trying to do a bit of promo for my work. If there's one area where I really fall down as a writer, it's promotion. Yeah, I blog and I twitter and I podcast and I do the web comic, but there are facets of promo that I don't do often enough, like participate in Yahoo groups or hold contests or send out for reviews.

So I've been thinking lately of ways I can improve my promotion plan. Yes, I have a plan, or rather, I should have a plan. I sort of have a plan, but I need to sit down and redo it and make it better - easier to execute, defined goals, etc. The problem is finding time to do all this planning of promotion and executing of promotion and still get my writing done. So I'm looking into simple tasks that I can do that won't tax my time or my brain. My initial ideas so far are...

Send out one of my books for review every Friday. I have a list of review websites, and if I just took 30 minutes each Friday, I could send these books out and maybe get a slew of reviews. It takes time to get a review done; most places take 8-12 weeks to get a review done. But if I start sending out now, I could have a ton of reviews coming my way in a couple months. That can't be bad.

Continue to blog. Right now, I'm doing at least 3 regular posts a week here and my weekly post on Oh Get A Grip. I'd like to add one more regular post to this, and then I think my blogging efforts would be complete. A good blog would (hopefully) keep people coming back for more, but a good blog has to be maintained with regular content. I want to be certain I provide that content.

Continue to cartoon. Since the start of school, I've set aside one day a week to work on the web comic, and so far I've been able to keep a regular schedule. Hopefully, with regular drawing, I'll get faster and better at producing the comic, so I won't have to spend an entire work day on it, but for now, I'm willing to spend a day to get this thing done!

Revamp the website. I've talked about this before, but now have finally started to take action on it. On Friday, I set in motion a transfer of all my domain names to GoDaddy.com, because I know GoDaddy plays nice with WordPress (it better play nice!), and because I can host multiple domain names on one hosting package. Once the domain name transfer is complete, the actual website revamp begins. I've got the domain name www.cynicalwoman.com, which I've used for years for a flash website I did way back when. I love the work I did on that, but updating a flash website is a bitch and a half for me, especially since I no longer understand the latest version of Action Script (a situation I'll need to correct very soon, it seems). I want an html website with a WordPress blog, and I want the website to combine most of my current websites - www.helenehmadden.com, www.cynicalwoman.blogspot.com, www.theadventuresofcynicalwoman.blogspot.com - into one place. I've pretty much stopped posting anything over at www.helenehmadden.com because it's too much effort to maintain a separate writing website from my personal blog. And besides, I've pretty much effectively branded myself as Cynical Woman, stay-at-home mom and erotica writer, so why not go with that?

Once the website revamp is done, I'll add to my list of promo goals. But for now, I think this is enough. Hopefully, I can get a working website up and running by Halloween. Let's see what I can do.

Now, I want all of YOU guys to tell me something. If you're a writer, what kind of promo do you do that works well for you? What promo have you done that turned out to be a huge waste of time? And readers, what kind of promo would you like to see me do? Give me some ideas of things you would enjoy, because one thing I don't want to do is annoy the crap out of readers with bad promo. (Please, please, please leave comments on this one, because I really do want to know!)

Episode 39 - Who's Yo Mama?!

One day, this is going to happen to me. It just has to. In addition to reading my stories aloud to catch mistakes, I also record most of them for the Heat Flash Erotica Podcast (which is a free weekly audio show I do that you can download to your MP3 player or listen to on your computer, and if you're not listening you should be!). Most days I only write or record when the kids are in school or in bed. When they're home and awake, I'm so busy taking care of them, I don't have time to do anything else. But mark my words, one of these days they're gonna walk in on me while I'm working...

You may have noticed that this cartoon is done "old style," which is to say I did it on the computer using Manga Studio 4. I still love MS4, and much prefer the way the cartoons look when I do them on the computer, but the fact is, it takes too long to do the cartoons this way. This particular cartoon was penciled back in April, and then inked yesterday morning. Had I done this by hand, it would have taken me an hour at most to do the inking and then the cartoon would be finished. In Manga Studio 4, the inking takes longer, plus there are extra steps I do to add the tones and text balloons, which is part of what makes the digital cartoons so pretty. What to do? Continue drawing by hand, but draw better! It'll come with practice. Meanwhile, I'll just use Manga Studio for other projects, since I'd really like to do some Manga style artwork, and this is the best program I've got for inking.

Anyway, here is this week's cartoon, and I hope you enjoyed it ;)

Writing Wednesday - Where do you get your ideas from?

It's supposedly the question every author dreads - "Where do you get your ideas from?" And I suppose some authors dread it because it can be hard to explain the process behind brainstorming and writing and rewriting and so on. But guess what? It's not a question this writer dreads. In fact, I'd be more than happy to explain where my ideas come from.

Where do ideas come from? Everywhere and anywhere, obviously. I get my ideas from magazine articles, TV shows, other writer's books, day dreams, nightmares, and random words. I've got a million ideas flitting through my head at any given time. The problem for me is not where do the ideas come from, but how quickly can I catch them and pin them down? And then what amount of work will I have to do to bring an idea into fruition as a story.

I go through story ideas like nobody's business. At the start of each month, I have to come up with between 4-6 ideas for the Heat Flash Erotica Podcast, and I have to come up with them fast. I hate working in a void when I write, so each month I pick a theme for the upcoming month's stories. For October, I always go with some sort of horror theme, which means I just spent the entire month of September writing five horror stories, and each had to be different from the last. To make things easier, I refined my theme idea to "Lustcraft" and worked on homage stories based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft. I made a list of all the Lovecraft I enjoyed, and when a few Edgar Allen Poe story ideas snuck into the mix, I went ahead and included them too. It seemed fitting to me, since Poe was a source of inspiration for Lovecraft. Once I had a viable list of stories I could play with, I took the originals apart and had fun putting my own spin on everything from the Dunwich Horror to The Tell-Tale Heart.

But that was last month, and this is this month, which means I'm now working on November's stories. Since Thanksgiving falls within November, I decided to write about gatherings, because Thanksgiving is always when people come together (to eat turkey, if nothing else). Then I pulled out my handy-dandy notebook and came up with a list of all the kinds of gatherings I could think of - weddings, funerals, parties, spring break, migrations, spawning grounds, etc. No idea was too stupid, too vague or too boring to include. At some point, a couple of these ideas spawned more specific images, and I wrote notes about those. Over the course of the last few days, I've continued to make my list, play with ideas, and make notes until I've come up with a total of 5 story ideas for the month. Now, at this point, I'm ready to move deeper, spending a day developing each individual idea in my notebook and then when I have a slew of notes and lines of dialog and description, I'll move to the computer and start banging out a story.

I have a week, sometimes less, to write each story. I've found that if I do the prep work in my notebook, developing my idea and writing up all those notes, then when it comes time to sit down and actually write, the process is almost painless. I've managed to write entire stories in just an hour, if I do that prep work. If I don't, and the idea is still rather vague, then I may spend all week agonizing at the keyboard until I finally get the story fleshed out and onto the screen. The stories that I'm prepared to write are usually shorter and more concise, ideal for the podcast. The stories that aren't prepped tend to be longer and harder to write, though I've turned out some amazing pieces by starting with only the vaguest of ideas.

I admit, I am much better at coming up with ideas for stories than I am at coming up with ideas for art. I can write a story at the drop of a hat, but I've had a lot of times where I've sat down with my drawing pad and pencils, looked at that blank page and gone, "Duuuuuuh... what do I draw?" I've finally started keeping a little notebook to jot ideas in, using the same process I use for the podcast stories. I'll be interested in seeing how this works out over the next few months. Who knows, I may turn out more art!

If you're having trouble coming up with that initial idea, consider starting with something general first (like the monthly theme I use for Heat Flash), and then narrow it down from there. Don't reject ideas out of hand because they seem stupid or unworkable. Sometimes your brain will combine the stupid with the unworkable and come up with the masterpiece. And maybe get yourself a notebook you can scribble in, something that doesn't have to be pristine and hold only the best ideas, but can take every single crappy line your brain tosses out. All that crap is fertilizer for story ideas, and you never know what will grow out of it.

And that's where my ideas come from.

Writing Wednesday - Writing while sick?

I was going to write about something else for this week's Writing Wednesday, but after spending a day sick in bed I thought I'd write about writing while sick. Do you write while sick, or not? I tried to get up at 5AM and write, but felt so lousy that I was back in bed after only 500 words, and didn't get up again until after 10AM. Yeah, I felt really lousy. However, I was still able to pull my laptop in bed with me after I got up the second time and I did get some work done. It was mostly things like answering e-mail and writing blog posts, but not the heavy duty stuff like fiction writing.

I suppose I could have worked on a story. After all, I felt better after I'd had some sleep. But I also had other work that I knew wouldn't tax my brain quite as much, so I focussed on that instead.

I can write while sick, and will write while sick if I've got a deadline coming up. Among other things, I have a weekly deadline with the podcast, and I can't afford to miss that. Plus, while it may tax my brain to write, it doesn't tax my body that much. If I can sit upright with a laptop and not have to worry about heaving my lunch all over my keyboard, then I can certainly write. It's just a question of whether or not I want to.

Today (which is Tuesday for me, since I tend to write blog posts in advance), my weekly deadline wasn't so pressing, and I had other, lighter work I could do. So I gave myself an easy day, and why not? Most days I'm on the go from 5AM until 10PM. Some days I could use a day in bed.

What do you think? Do you write, create, or work, while you're sick? Or do you take a break?

Writing Wednesday - Time management for writers

A week or so ago, I mentioned on Twitter that I was working out my daily and weekly schedule, using a spreadsheet. The responses I got back on this ranged from, "Holy cow, are you anal retentive organized!" to "Hey, I do the exact same crazy thing!" to "Please don't post an example of that spread sheet. I really don't want to see how you obsess over handle your work schedule!" In light of such glowing responses, I felt I had no choice but to share. So here's a quick screen grab of my daily/weekly schedule, with an explanation of what the hell is going on.

Okay, here's a small screen shot of the spread sheet. I keep my schedule in Google Docs, so I can access it from anywhere I can get wireless. This is handy in my house because I typically float between three computers all day long. That's right. I'm so crazy I have to have three computers to get my work done. One computer is a large, super powerful desktop where I do most of my writing and computer graphics as well as all my podcasting and audio recording. That's in the room above our garage and it has it's own separate flight of steps from the rest of the house. Then there's the laptop I often work on in our bedroom, in a sort of mini-office I set up years ago so I could work while breastfeeding my youngest daughter (yes, again, I am crazy). That's up the other flight of steps. Between the two computers, I've got the netbook, set up in the kitchen. This is where I do a lot of my tweeting and web browsing during the day, so if you see me on Twitter, it's a good bet I'm goofing off in the kitchen. In any event, it doesn't matter where I am in the house or what computer I'm on, I've got access to my schedule.

Now take a look at the schedule. Across the top are the days of the week. Down the side I've listed blocks of time in half hour chunks. I rarely do anything that takes less than half an hour of time, and I've learned the hard way not to schedule my time in blocks any smaller than that. Whatever I'm doing, I don't care what it is, it's going to take at least half an hour of my time.

Also note what time my day starts - 4:45 AM. This is the only time on the calendar that is not listed by the half hour, because it usually only takes 15 minutes for me to actually wake up and roll out of bed, then stumble to the shower. Unless I fall back asleep and then this whole schedule thing is just crap for the rest of the day.

At the very top of the schedule, I've made some notes about each day, a sort of quick guideline to let me know what my priorities are for that day. What kind of exercise am I doing that day? Is there any special tasks to accomplish that day? What blog entry is due that day? I'm anal, and very busy, so I like to keep this check list handy at the very top of the schedule.

You may have noticed, the page is color coded. My special notes and goals at the top are in blue. Regularly scheduled items are in green. Those items in black are the ones subject to change on a regular basis. For example, under "Podcast - writing" is a block labeled "Lustcraft theme stories." That's the name of the story theme for next month's podcast. I'm writing the stories this month, so I just put in what them I'm working on, or occasionally what specific story title I'm writing that day.

Here's another shot, further down on the schedule:

Pretty much the same thing going on here, except later in the day. I include everything I know I will be doing on a regular basis in my schedule, so in addition to what time I want to wake up and go to sleep, I also include my workout schedule, my karate class schedule, when to take the girls to the bus stop and when to pick them up, when to do my physical therapy, when to get the laundry in the washing machine and when to fold it, etc. Anything I need to do on a regular basis, weekly or daily, goes into my schedule, thus the need for the spread sheet. You'll also notice at the bottom that this page with the actual schedule on it is not the only page in the spread sheet. I've also got pages for weekly goals, routines (because sometimes it's just easier to list a routine in the schedule and then go to that routine on a separate page), my blog schedule, shopping lists, etc. I have a lot going on, and I like to keep track of things, so I use the additional pages to help me do that.

Feeling overwhelmed yet by all this scheduling? It's okay. Let me say up front that there is no one way to do a personal schedule, and don't worry if you don't want to do your schedule how I do it. YOU DON'T HAVE TO! This is really just a peek into how my crazy brain works.

So where did I get this crazy method of making schedules? From my days in the Army Reserves. I used to be a training officer for a very large unit, and was responsible for schedule all the training events for everyone in the unit. I had to decide who was doing what, when, where, why, and how. The schedules I created for each drill weekend look rather similar to my personal schedule today, only I don't have to list anybody as the trainer for a specific event, nor do I have to quote which regulation and training manual to reference.

How do I come up with this schedule? This, I think, is the important part, and the part I really want to share with people:

I start by making a list of all the things I'd like to do in a day/week.

I prioritize the list, PUTTING THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST!!

I start plugging items from my list into my schedule. The important things get the biggest blocks of time, and are usually scheduled early in the day. Did you notice what was the first thing on my schedule after waking up, showering, and starting the laundry? Yeah, the podcast, either writing for it or recording and editing the audio for it. The podcast is a weekly deadline. It has to get done every week, and so it gets done first!

I only schedule things in half-hour blocks. I refuse to break down my day into 15 minute segments, or 10 minute segments, or what have you. I know I could list 10-15 minutes of house cleaning a day, to ensure that my house cleaning gets done. But you know what? It never works for me. I've learned the hard way that when I start nickel and diming my day away like that, I lose sight of the important work, the work that actually requires me to focus for half an hour. So I don't bother putting things on there like house cleaning that would only take 15 minutes, because house cleaning isn't a priority (getting a shower and folding laundry are, however! At least to me).

I try the schedule out for a few days. I usually end up realizing I forgot to add something in, or I need to take something out. Sometimes I realize that a particular task would be more likely to get done if I scheduled it for a different time during the day. For example. I prefer to workout first thing in the morning after I get the kids to school, but recently I realized that I was getting the workout done, but not the other stuff I had planned in the morning. So I flipped things around. Now I work in the morning on my major projects - the web comic, writing a book, redesigning the website - and then take off around lunch time to swim, attend karate class or go for a run. I was surprised at how well that worked out. I actually got a lot more done, and I still got my workouts in.

I realize that past a certain point in the day, things are not going to get done. That point in the day is 3:30PM, when the girls come home from school. At that point, my time becomes their time. So I make sure to fit in things like my physical therapy before they come home, and I don't plan to do anything serious after they get here.

If the schedule does not seem to be working, I start a new schedule, or I copy the old one and make any changes as I see fit. My schedules are not written in stone. Things happen, plans change. Schedules need to change too.

So that's my schedule in a not-so-small nutshell. It's detailed. It's anal. It works for me.

It usually takes me a day or two to write the basic schedule out, and then another week or so to tweak it until I've got everything I want on it. Then I'll be able to work with that schedule for a few months, up to six if I'm lucky, before needing to change it for some reason. If you're having trouble getting stuff done during the day, my suggestion is to pull out a spreadsheet, or even just a pen and a piece of paper, and start making a list of things you want to get done, and figure out when to get them done. You don't have to be as anal detailed as I am, but a simple schedule could help you go a long way toward accomplishing your goals.

Writing Wednesday - Are E-books Any Good?

I had a couple of folks express an interest in my idea of doing a semi-regular writing post, and since both writing and Wednesday start with W...

Anyway, I wanted to start with a general topic today, e-books. I've had the opportunity to read a lot of e-books lately. I love my netbook, and I love reading e-books on it. I've enjoyed a lot more books since getting the netbook than I have in a while. E-books don't take up a ton of space in my house, and they're very transportable, and hot diggity-dog! Barnes and Noble has made it every easy for me to get e-books from them online!

Of course, Barnes and Noble, and that mega-giant of e-books Amazon.com, are not the only places to get e-books. There's also Fictionwise.com, which offers some pretty nice deals, and carries a lot of small e-press published books. And just about every e-publisher sells their own books on their website. My publishers do, I know that. So there are lots of places to go buy e-books.

Still, in spite of the availability and the ease of buying, there seems to be this perception that e-books aren't as good as "real" books. I can say from experience that reading a book on my netbook is just as easy as reading one in print. So I don't think the problem is the digital format per se, but the perception that e-books are not as well written. I'm not talking about the books that are e-published as well as print published by the big New York publishers, but the e-books that are put out by all those small e-publishers, the books that usually don't come out in print.

Is the reputation of poor quality one that's been earned by these small e-publishers? Maybe yes, maybe no. We've all seen the major New York publishers put out books that suck rocks, and I've personally seen small e-publishers put out books that kept me up reading all night long. But I've also seen the reverse, more times than I care to admit.

The fact is, there are some publishers out there who don't edit books as well as they should. Granted, most e-publishers don't have the near the staff that the New York publishers have, so frequently you'll find one editor doing the work of three. In that case, editing mistakes are bound to happen - the occasional misplaced comma or dropped word - and I understand that. But what about the books I read that I can't believe got published? You know the ones I'm talking about. They're riddled with bad grammar, punctuation and spelling errors. The plot isn't so much a plot as it is an excuse to string together sex scenes, or horror scenes, or action scenes, depending on the genre. The characters might as well be cut out of cardboard, they're so two-dimension. In fact, the entire story reads like really bad fan fiction (nothing against good fan fiction; I LIKE good fan fiction, and frequently the good fan fic writers go on to become good original authors). When I run across bad books like this, I wince, because I know these books are the reason many people perceive the e-publishing industry to sub-standard and filled with crap. And there are far more of these kinds of e-books out there than there should be. Certain publishers are intent on churning out as many e-books as they can, and I get the feeling they will sign anyone who can string more than a few words together. Quantity over quality is never a good deal. Thus I'm always wary of buying books from a small e-publisher I've never bought from before. Will I get a treasure, or a dud? Even reading reviews doesn't help, if I don't know the reviewer. Many is the time I've seen an e-book with great reviews, only to discover that there are some reviewers out there who like everything and anything they read, while I, a rather picky reader, can not get past the first chapter of this book with the glowing reviews. For some reason, I always figure this out after I get the book and start reading. I hate that, because then I've wasted money and time, two things I really hate to waste.

So here's my thought. I like to read e-books, good e-books, and I think there are plenty of good e-books out there put out by small e-publishers. But there's also a lot of dreck out there too. If you're a reader, I do recommend you search out some e-books and give them a try. Get books from the big publishers and the small, and be willing to do a little research to find books you'll like. There really are some gems out there, if you take the time to look. If you're a writer, do your readers a favor and write the best book you can. Don't just knock out a quick draft and boot it out the door, thinking your editor will catch all your mistakes and fix them for you. You need to do that before you submit, not after. And please, for love of Pete, don't treat plot and characterization like afterthoughts, something to be added in after you write all the hot sex scenes (erotic romance writers, I'm looking at YOU!). Finally, if you're an e-publisher, do EVERYONE a favor. Demand quality books; publish quality books. Publisher fewer books if you need to, to make that happen. But make sure the books are good.

I'm not the best writer in the world, but I am a reader, a reader with a wallet, and I know how I want to spend my money - on quality stories. The publishers and writers who produce those stories are the ones who are going to get my hard-earned bucks.

Writing Wednesday - Would You Be Interested?

I'm thinking about what I'd like to do with this blog, and among other things, I'd like to do some more semi-regular topics. So I was wondering. I have Move It Mama Monday and Fiction Friday, both of which are about things near and dear to my heart (exercise and reading, respectively). But would anybody here be interested in hearing my thoughts, however strange they may be, on writing? I figure I must have something to say on the subject, since I've written over 100 stories in the past two years.

I'm toying with the idea. On the one hand, there are thousands, maybe millions, of websites out there that discuss this very same subject, and I'm wondering what I can bring to the topic that would be original. Would you like to hear about what it's like to write erotica, or what it's like to be a write-at-home mom? Or would you like to hear how those worlds collide?

Let me know what you think. I'll keep playing with the idea. If I get any feedback, I may get started on this sooner rather than later.

Ballticon, I love you!

I just got back from Balticon 43 and damn I'm tired. Four straight days of fun, frolic, work, mind-bending conversation, fan-girl moments and sundry madness. Here are several of my favorite moments from the convention, in no particular order.

1. Getting there. You people have no idea how much I love climbing into my old beater car and heading out of town. I used to do long drives like this all the time, pre-kids. Now these drives only happen a couple times a year. When I'm in my beater car, I can listen to my favorite music, drink a ton of coffee, and rant out loud with only other drivers to look at me like I'm crazy. I used to drive to the same area Balticon is in for Army Reserves drill, so I really miss this. Although admittedly, Balticon is a lot more fun than Army Reserves.


2. Hugs. I got hugs from everyone - Paulette Jaxton, Elf, Mike Pederson, Doug from College (who I only got to see for 30 seconds, but man what a hug!), Cmaaaarrr, Sci Fi Laura, Steve Eley, Gutshot, Matt F'n Wallace, Christiana Ellis, Mae Breakall, Kim the Comic Book Goddess, Dee, Nobilis, Heather Welliver, Grail Wolf, Mistress Jett, Paul Fischer and Martha Holloway, MAinPA, Dan the Fan, Tee Morris, Podcasting's Rich Sigfrit, SVAllie, Brand, Vivid Muse, Chooch, Alessia Brio and Will Belegon, Jared Axelrod and J. R. Blackwell, George Hrab, and many, many others. I love getting hugs from friends, and when you only get to see folks face to face a couple times a year, these hugs are very important. Best group hug - Ms. Information, Nobilis and Phil Rossi. Best hug over all - Mur Lafferty. Her husband is a lucky man };)


3. Info overload. I sat in on a ton of panels, everything from podcasting to geek family life to short fiction readings. My brain is so full of ideas and inspiration, it's leaking out my ears!


4. Readings! The Friday evening short fiction slam rocked - Nathan Lowell had the best short story on religion I've heard in a long time. Phil Rossi read from Crescent, soon to be released in print. Steve Eley rocked with a little gem on computer viruses and daily life and Chris Lester had me jonesing for Metamor City. On Saturday (or was it Sunday?), I listened to George Hrab read from his essays, many of which you can hear on the Geologic Podcast. All I can say is, wow, that man knows how to capture real life and bring it into sharp, fascinating focus.


5. The Sex With Aliens panel. Not a live demo, but a fascinating discussion. Bud Sparhawk had some intriguing things to say on the topic, and I walked away with more than a few story ideas.


6. Social Media for writers panel. Tee Morris IS social media. He knows that topic inside and out, and gives the best advice on how to use social media without coming off like an ass. (He's also a wonderful writer. I love Billibub Baddings!)


7. Hearing Phil Rossi confess that reading about other people's successes on Twitter makes him feel depressed and unsuccessful. It's an odd choice for a favorite moment, I know, but it was an honest moment (and startling to hear from someone I'm a fan of) and I know exactly what he means. It's nice to know I'm not the only writer who sits there wondering if they're being left in the dust.


8. The look Mur Lafferty gave Nathan Lowell when he talked about how he wrote his first book in ten days, but then things slowed down during edits and rewrites, which took him a couple of weeks. Another truly honest moment from someone who's work I admire.


9. CmdLn trying to fix my watch. The man is a hacker-philospher extraordinaire. He's also a gentleman who did his very best to put a new battery in my fav watch. The attempt may have driven him mad, but I'm grateful he took pity on a gal who owns nine watches, none of which work. And his wife makes and wears the best dresses I've ever seen!


10. Music! Three concerts this weekend - Phil Rossi, George Hrab, and Kim the Comic Book Goddess. Three very different styles, all very good. Phil Rossi and Evo Terra did a little booty shakin' during George Hrab's Ms. Information song. I had the best seat in the house for that performance. Too bad I didn't have any $20s };D


11. Attaching names to faces. PG Holyfield, I'm glad I got to see your handsome mug too ;)


12. People playing with my horns. You know you've established your image when people like to tweak your horns.


13. Talking with Matt F'n Wallace at a party Sunday night. The man's a true gentleman and a great writer. He's also easy to talk to. Don't be intimidated by his size or greatness. He's someone you really ought to get to know.


14. Dining and partying with friends. Nomming with Gutshot; dinner with Nobilis; lunch with Chooch, Viv, Jett, MA and Dan; breakfast with Cmaaaarrr, Sci Fi Laura, Matt F'n Wallace, Mur Lafferty, and Vintage Jim; stealing sips from Ms. Information's delightful Dirty Martini. Dinner with Nobilis was particularly nice, as I don't get enough chances to conspire with my partner in crime.


15. Calls for Cthulhu, LIVE! Need I say more?


16. Singularity, again. Earl Newton of Stranger Things has promised we will keep having the Singularity until we get flying cars... or a toaster that doesn't burn the toast. This is good, because I love seeing Stranger Things on the big screen like this!


17. Personal Effects: Dark Arts. It just looks cool. And freaky. And... cool.


18. Escape Pod, LIVE! Acted out by a fantastic cast. The line 'Brains for baby Jesus' will ring in my ears for a very long time.


19. Aliens You Will Meet, LIVE! I'm glad George Hrab won the music contest. It should be a boost to his career ;)


20. Viv and Chooch's Podio Books and Web Comics party. Those two really know how to host an event. Though seeing Tee Morris spanking himself while dressed as William Shakespeare has probably scarred me for life...


21. Sharing a room with Nina Kimberly the Merciless, AKA Christiana Ellis. We really only chatted a couple of times, but she was very cool. And she did not even give me a funny look when she came in and caught me eating cereal and milk out of a bowl with no spoon.


22. Paulette Jaxton. Hands down, coolest thing about Balticon was sharing a room with this lady. I only wish I could have spent more time with her. Paulette, you RAWK!


23. Alessia Brio and Will Belegon. Two of the coolest people in erotica and e-publishing. Hot writers, caring people, amazing humanitarians. Do good while being bad. Read Coming Together!


24. Sitting on a panel with author Scott Sigler and David Moldawer (editor at Penguin Books). They are very big names. I am very small. Yet I got to moderate on the subject of e-publishing for the small screen, and managed to not sound like an idiot. Almost makes me think I can run with the big dogs.


25. Erotica readings. I got to do two this weekend, and the room was full both times. To all the people who came to listen, ask questions, and (absolutely astonishing) ask for my autograph, thank you, thank you, thank you. You made me feel very special.


26. Babies. Certain people have some of the cutest babies (and there are two cuties in particular I love). You guys know you are! I'm jonesing now for a third bambino after seeing such cuddly cootness!


27. Chatting about cartoons with Gutshot. A simple conversation about one of my favorite pastimes with someone who is obviously talented in that department. He also has the nicest collection of hats and a verra lovely kilt!


28. Mae Breakall's t-shirt. Also Mistress Jett's modified tee. If you saw these shirts, you know what I mean. If you missed them, I pity you. They were hot!


29. Coming home to a bit of blood and a minor crisis. Okay, another weird moment to put on the favorites list, but after four surreal days roaming a con on my own, coming home to see the Hubster soothing crying children and taking care of the mess made me feel oh-so-glad and extremely luck to be married to the most wonderful man in the world. Plus, the boo boo in question gave me extra reasons to cuddle with my youngest and listen to my oldest explain how she helped take care of her sister. The chatter and love of little girls, along with the calm confidence of the man of my dreams are a couple of things I really missed this weekend. Next year, I'm doing everything I can to get my whole family up to the con!

There are many, many more things on my list of favs, but honestly, the whole damn weekend was just about one of the best things I've experienced in a long time. Many, many thanks to Paul Fischer for including me on the new media track this year, to Nobilis for recommending me, to Martha for trusting me to moderate her panel, and to everyone who smiled and put up with the annoying tag-along known better known as Helen E. H. Madden. And especially, always, thank you Michael. The Hubster let me run away to the circus for the weekend and did an outstanding job taking care of our children while I was wrong. I love you, stud!

Poetry? The Walk

I make no claims to being a poet. This is simply what came to me yesterday as the Pixie and I walked through our neighborhood in the rain.

The Walk

The world is mine today
Empty, abandoned
In the wake of some apocalypse
I must have slept through this morning

Dull little houses line
Oil-slicked streets
Blank windows, locked doors
Sing a requiem
for Suburbia

The ground is black
And bitter as used coffee grounds
The sky is gray
As my mood
Or the hair I found
This morning

One wiry antennae
Sticking straight up
From my skull
Receiving all messages of
Doom and gloom

Doom and gloom
Gloom and doom
Mist wraps around me
A second, clammy coat
My bat black umbrella
Flaps overhead
The leaden sky bleeds acid rain
Forcing all the sugar mamas
To stay inside
And gawk as I shuffle by

They'll melt, they'll melt
My god, they'd melt!
If they ever set foot outside

But I don't have
That concern today
I'm old and sour
As a basket
Of assholes
And the rain, the rain
Fits me like a glove

Doom and gloom
Gloom and doom
The world is mine
The world is grey
And I shuffle through it
A zombie at home

In the damp, in the dead
In the swampy mists
Only one thing seems amiss
One small detail out of place
The little Pixie who dances
At my side

Her tiny pink coat
Is a shocking wound
In all this glorious misery gray
It rips me
Out of my stupor and into
A world where squirrels
Natter and birds
Shriek and shrill and puddles
Wait to be stomped

Splash and dash!
Dash and splash!
She flits around
The little busy buzzy bee
Tearing my world apart

Her high pitched giggle
Like a sword-thrust
To my senses
Simply kills my good bad mood
Like holy water on vampires
I am forced to step out of my
Steaming gothic remains
Into the world of the living
Again


Splash and dash!
Dash and splash!
Look Mama
A bird!
A squirrel!
Another puddle!

The world is hers
Not mine
I hope I can surrender it
With grace

Fiction Friday - The Mummy Case

One thing I really want to do more of these days is read, and since I got my netbook and an account at Fictionwise.com. I've read four books so far since Christmas, and while that may not seem like a lot, that's way up from last year's reading, as least as far as fiction goes. I regularly read computer graphics magazines and skim through tech manuals, but that's not enough to satisfy my soul. I'm a fiction writer, so I need to be a fiction reader, too. Besides, I love reading too much and have been jonesing for some good stories to devour.

Right now, I'm enjoying Elizabeth Peter's 'The Mummy Case.' This is the third book in the Amelia Peabody books, one of my favorite mystery series. The stories are all set in Egypt at the turn of the century. Amelia Peabody and her archeologist husband, Radcliffe Emerson, delve into the mysteries of ancient Egypt while dealing with contemporary crimes. This particular case involves the murder of an illegal antiquities dealer, Protestant missionaries raising havoc with the Muslim populace, and a Roman style cemetary in Coptic Egypt. And of course, the titular mummy case, which appears and vanishes repeatedly throughout the tale.

One of the best things about the Amelia Peabody series is the relationship between Peabody and her husband Emerson. They almost never address each other by first name, but prefer the affectionate use of last names instead. Peabody is a strong-willed, educated woman in a time period where woman were expected to be anything but strong-willed and educated. She enjoys adventure, loves Egypt as much as her archeologist husband, and defies all the conventions of her time. Her husband is an excellent match for her - handsome but hot headed, equally intelligent and educated, a believer in equality for all people, and a non-believer in all religious aspects. They're an unusual pair, to be sure, but there's a strong, invigorating romance going on between them that's both passionate and believable.

And that's probably what I enjoy the best. I am no reader of romances, mainly because I can't buy into the idea of two people falling in love at first sight and immediately running off to get married and live happily ever after. That's not to say I don't believe in love at first sight, but after 15 years with my husband, I know love takes a hell of a lot of work to make it last. Most romances don't show me any of that work in progress; they fail to display the foundations for a lasting relationship in my opinion. Yes, heroine and hero may desire each other, yes they must triumph over many obstacles to be together, but all their gooey-eyed protestations of love in the end don't make for a lasting relationship. Peabody and Emerson share a sense of practicallity that reminds me so much of my own marriage, it's almost frightening. For starters, Peabody doesn't get all bent out of shape when her husband argues with her (he almost never believes her 'fantasies' of looming danger or crimes about to be committed). Instead, she knows he'll eventually come around when enough evidence of a crisis presents itself. In the mean time, she humors him and continues to investigage on her own. As for Emerson, he may blow his top from time to time, even at her, but he knows how to apologize, and he knows better than to try and keep his wife under his thumb to prevent her from doing the things he thinks she shouldn't be doing.

I guess what I''m trying to say is that there is no angst in this relationship. They don't worry that one may not love the other. It's simply an accepted fact between them. I by far prefer that type of romantic relationship to one where the heroine has to play 'he loves me, he loves me not' and that ends up being all she does in the book. I also appreciate the fact that Peabody doesn't play games with her husband. She's up front with him, blunt even, about what she wants, where she's going, etc. She doesn't need to make him jealous, and in fact is careful to avoid situations where she feels he might become jealous, as she knows he'll kill any one who dares to assume an unwarrented familiarity with his wife. It's not that he fears Peabody will leave him for another man. He just thinks other men should know their place.

So I'm enjoying the Mummy Case, and the entire series. And I really love the fact that I can get all these books in e-format. It's just so convenient to be able to buy and immediate download the books and keep them on my netbook so I have the entire library at my fingertips. Although I have discovered one inconvenience with this set up.

I can't read the netbook in the tub. Dang.

Coming Together: Al Fresco - Availabe April 22nd, 2009!

If you love erotica and the great outdoors, here's your chance to enjoy the two combined! Coming Together: Al Fresco, edited by Alessia Brio, will be out on Earth Day, April 22nd, through All Romance e-Books. Yes, your's truly is in this one, with an m/m erotic tale entitled 'Afternoon of a Faun.' This book will be in e-format only, in keeping with the conservation theme. You can pre-order Al Fresco now, and remember, all proceeds benefit Conservation International. GREEN is the new black!

Cartoon - Who Wants To Be A Super Hero? ME!

Today's cartoon is about podcaster and writer extraordinaire, Mur Lafferty. Mur has a novel coming out about super heroes and it's really cool! It's called Playing for Keeps. Be sure to buy a copy from Amazon.com on Monday, August 28th!

And no, I did not forget last week's cartoon. It's here:



Sorry it was late. All I can say was, I got eaten alive by REAL LIFE! Enjoy the cartoons!

Cartoon for 8 August 2008!

I'm sorry this was late. It was actually done on Friday, but everything went all screwy that day and I never got around to posting the cartoon here. Many other places, yes, but not here or on my erotica blog. Michael has been out of town most of the last two weeks. Sam was sick all last week, and I didn't feel so hot myself. In fact, I just dragged last week. Now I'm suffering from insomnia and Twitter addiction. I am so screwed up. But you don't care about that, do you? You just want your damned cartoon. Well fine. Here it is!



And you have no idea how true this one really is...

Cartoon for 25 July 2008

I'm late, I know. I had to check the URL that I included in the cartoon. This is both a true story and a bit of shameless promotion for a project that has become near and dear to my heart. Coming Together is a series of erotica anthologies put together and sold for charitable causes. I have a story in Coming Together: With Pride. The proceeds go to AVERT.org to support HIV and AIDS research. There are a number of other books in the series, some of them award winners, all of them good anthologies put together for good causes. You can find out more at the Coming Together website. Alessia Brio, the editor, will be a guest tomorrow night on Passion Internet Voices Radio. That'll be at 9PM-11PM EASTERN time. She'll be playing audio excerpts of some of the stories, including mine, and some of the writers will be joining her for interviews. If I still have a voice tomorrow after fighting with a nasty cold, I'll be there.

I'll get to work on another cartoon right away, I promise. It looks like it'll be a couple more weeks before I've got a website set up for the cartoons, but once it's up, I'll be sure to let everyone know.

Demon By Day now available from Mojocastle.com

Huge news. My first book, Demon By Day is now available from Mojocastle Press. Here's the blurb:

In the twilight realm of Daeva Shudra, there dwells an ancient race of demons. Once the most powerful beings on earth, the Daeva must hide in their underground city or be burned to ashes by the sun. The world above belongs to mortals now, inferior creatures with limited abilities for magic, easy prey for demonkind.

Between the two races comes Orziel, a half-breed struggling to survive the deadly schemes of his immortal kin. His only weapons are his vicious beauty and ruthless cunning. Otherwise, he is powerless and despised. But lack of power doesn’t check Orziel’s pride or ambition. All his life he’s lied, seduced, and betrayed to get whatever he’s wanted, including his lover, the demon prince Asheru. When Empress Shebazael claims Asheru as her own, Orziel swears he’ll do whatever it takes to take back what’s his, regardless of the consequences.

The half-demon travels to the surface, in search of a mortal sorcerer to aid him in his quest. But things go awry when Orziel seduces Jarresh, a beautiful youth with no magic beyond his capacity for love. Will Orziel stand by the only person who’s ever truly cared for him, or will he betray Jarresh to carry out his revenge?

I'll be selling print copies of the book at Balticon. If you're there and you want one, just grab me by the arm and let me know. And if you're interested in hearing the audio promo I put together for the book, check out this week's episode of the Heat Flash podcast. Heat Flash is my free weekly podcast of erotic short fiction. There's a new story every Friday. The promo for Demon By Day is at the end of this week's episode, so take a listen!
That's all I've got for now. I've got to get some sleep so I can drive up to Balticon tomorrow morning. I'll try to post a few entries while I'm there.

I Was Interviewed For The Balticon Podcast!

On the writing/podcasting/would-be professional front, I was interviewed this past weekend by Paul Fischer of the Balticon Podcast. The interview is here.

Paul talked to myself and fellow erotica writer Nobilis about erotica podcasting, writing sexy stories, family values for erotica writers, and everything in between. We also talked a bit about what we'll be doing at Balticon this coming Memorial Day weekend, where Nobilis and I will both be guests working on the adults' new media track for the convention. We had a great time discussing all the naughtiness we plan to get into, so take a listen to the interview and check out some of the rest of the Balticon podcast. Also stop by and listen to Paul's podcast (one of my all time favorites), the ADD Cast.

Keep in mind, we are talking about erotica here, and the talk naturually gets rather explicit, so don't listen to this any place where you might get into trouble, like say... church or work?

By The Way, I Survived Fantasci 6

Just thought I should mention that I survived Fantasci 6, the sci-fi convention I went to a couple weeks back. I was there to represent EPIC (Electronically Published Internet Connection), and spent all weekend talking to people about e-books. The convention wasn't as nearly as large as the staff predicted it would be, but I thought it was worth attending. I got to run a fan table for the first time ever, talk to folks about e-books, and I spent most of the weekend with Kathryn Lively from Phaze Books, which is not a bad thing when you are a writer who would eventually like to publish with Phaze. Nope, not bad at all.

I Have A New Blog On Writing Erotica

Just because I don't have enough to do with my time...

Actually, it's because I need a proper venue for discussing erotica writing and art. I added a blog to my erotica website HelenEHMadden.com. I'll be using this blog to discuss what's going on with my writing and artwork, plus as a place to discuss what I see going on in the world with regards to sex and erotica. The rest of the site includes an art gallery (mostly male nudes) and will have a story gallery up by the end of this month. Stop by for a visit if you're so inclined!

I Got A Life!

Last Monday, while my folks were still visiting, I dragged Michael out to see Great Big Sea. Talk about amazing! It’s been years since I’ve been to a concert, and I can’t recall the last time Michael and I went out on a date, so you can only imagine how happy I was to get out of the house. Great Big Sea is wonderful, a Newfoundland band that plays traditional folk music with a hard rock beat. They also have plenty of original music that they play as well. Funniest part of the show? When the lead singer admitted they once opened for Barney the Dinosaur and bombed. “When Barney’s fans come to see him, they don’t want to see no one else! They cry if someone else comes on stage. They soil themselves and throw tantrums!” Ain’t that the truth?

So the concert was great, as was the convention I went to this past weekend. Yes, that’s right. I went to a science fiction convention. RavenCon must be the first sci-fi convention I’ve gone to outside of Marscon in over five years. I spent most of my time either at the artist panels or at the pod-casting panels. The artist panels were a huge boost for me, as I don’t normally get a chance to discuss making art, digital or otherwise, with other folks. I got several handy tips on improving my life drawing, plus lots of encouragement to keep working. As for the pod-casting panels, they were probably some of the best panels I’ve ever attended. There was a lot of technical detail there, but the fellow running it was Tee Morris, one of the authors of “Podcasting For Dummies.” I’m interested in starting a podcast right now as a means to promote the e-book I’ve got coming out. We’ll see what I can come up with.

Anyway, I’ve been out of the house twice in two weeks to attend two very different social events. Michael paid for both outings, and handled the kids at RavenCon, so I owe him big time. Remember, you can’t buy child care that good, you gotta sleep with it! Not that I’m complaining. Michael is a stud.

I’m off to work!

Book Lust vs. Writing Lust

A month or so ago, I bought a book reading journal. It's very cool. The title of the journal is Book Lust, and it's full of blank entries for me to record all the books I read. Each entry has a space for the title, the author, and the date I read the book, and then a page of space for my comments on what I thought of the book. I was really excited about this idea of recording what I’ve been reading, because lately I’ve changed interests. I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction and fantasy. In the last few years I’ve added horror and historical mystery to that as well. But very recently I’ve dropped all that for more "literary" stuff. By literary I mean I’ve been picking books that show up either on the NY Times bestseller list or on the “What’s New” shelf at the library and book store.

It’s quite a change, like suddenly going from eating meat to being a vegetarian. But I like it. I was getting tired of reading a lot of the same stuff over and over again, to the point where I had quit reading all together because I couldn’t bring myself to pick up another sci-fi book. Of course, I don’t always like what I pick up in the “literary” section either, but then I made a deal with myself. If I don’t take a shine to a book within the first two chapters, I don’t have to keep reading. This means I’m getting most of my books from the library, because I can’t afford to buy a bunch of books and then put them down after two chapters, but my local library does keep a pretty good selection, so I'm good.

One of the things I’m most interested in reading right now are books put out by the major publishing houses that are billed as “erotic.” Now you know I write erotica, so I have very particular ideas about what is and isn’t erotic. To me, an erotic story means a tale with sexually explicit writing whose purpose is to arouse the reader. There is no “fade to black” when the sex takes place. There are also no veiled euphemisms or purple prose used to describe sex acts and genitalia. Things like that only smother what’s erotic. They don’t add any value at all.

So I’m reading what the big wigs in the publishing industry consider to be erotic. And my conclusion is these guys have no frikkin’ clue about what’s erotic. I’m not saying the books I’ve read are bad. One book I read, Vertigo by Lauren Baratz-Logsted, was actually quite good. Vertigo is the story of Emma, a Victorian housewife, who makes a resolution one year to be a better person. Her husband, a novelist working on a book about prisons, suggests Emma write letters to a prisoner he’s met during his research, to boost the man's morale and act as a friend. Of course, Emma falls in love the prisoner, named Chance Wood, and the rest of the story focuses on their affair and Emma’s discovery of her sexuality. The book was interesting, thrilling and suspenseful in fact. I do not think it was erotic though. There were sex scenes in the book, and to Ms. Baratz-Logsted’s credit, she covered sex acts that most folks won’t discuss even in the privacy of their own bedroom. But the way she wrote those scenes made them seem wooden and dull. Again, I blame the use of euphemism and purple prose. She came close to going into detail about what was going on, but never really hit the target. It was like watching ants mate - biologically interesting perhaps, but in no way arousing to me.

I have this fear that all the “erotic” big sellers I intend to read are going to be like that, and it annoys the hell out of me. Why won’t people write about sex in a way that shows how exciting it can really be? We write about murder and violence with so much abandon, but sex? No, we can’t do that. Or maybe I should say, they can’t do that. You know I can. I do it all the time. In fact, I’ll be busting my ass today to finish up a short story I intend to submit to Best Women’s Erotica 2008. An older woman with a porn addiction seduces a much younger man. Hot stuff. And you better believe that the sex scenes are explicit. In fact, I have more sex scenes in this one 7,000 word short story than Lauren Baratz-Logsted had in her entire book, a fact I find to be quite funny. And once I’m done writing this short story, I’ll be starting on another erotica book. I’ve been e-mailing my editor at Mojocastle Press about some ideas I have and she’s very gung-ho, so I’m feeling pretty good these days. In fact, I’m feeling like a professional writer, which feels better than I ever possibly imagined it could feel.

I love reading. I love writing. I may never get published by a big printing house like some folks, but that’s okay. I love getting up each morning and knowing that I’m going to be doing the stuff I want to do. So life is good, folks. Life is very good.