Terms Of Endearment And Other Weird Crap I Say To My Kids

I came up with some new lovey-dovey things to say to the kids. Earlier this week, I started telling Sam she smells like sunshine and kisses. She does, actually. She plays outside a lot so she smells like a warm, sunny day, and she's so soft and cuddly these days that I can't resist kissing her. So she smells like sunshine and kisses. Cassie smells a bit like her preschool most of her time, meaning she smells vaguely of the disinfectant they use to hose everything down. Man, all that disinfectant and Cass still brings home the creeping crud five times a year. But I didn't want to tell Cassie she smelled like disinfectant because that's no fun, so instead I told her...

"Honey, you smell like rainbows and fairy farts!"

You know that went over well.